So I have come to the conclusion/realization that there is not much time left for me in Japan. (Or at least till my term is up)
It is really sad.
But mentally I am trying to prepare, reflect and see if there is anything that needs to be done before the goodbyes sneak up on me.
I feel so blessed for the people in my life and for the things that have happened both good and bad.
I don't really know how to cope right now to be honest. I just gotta keep moving. I know the only consistent thing is my Jesus. And so many things that I have been learning about relationships and cultures, the different ways people think, ways we are brought up. My kids here <3. I don't know what to say. I feel cruel. I come for a time, just to leave. How can I explain. The relationships I built, just to say goodbye and hope we meet again. :'(.
It feels too cruel.
But, I know right now that God can use this into something that is greater, lasts longer, for a reason bigger than I can plan up myself. A reason that has nothing to do with me, but about how much he loves each and every person he created. Each and every person that I have had the pleasure of sharing time with. They are his, and He loves them so much more than me being in their life, or I could.
I came with only a suitcase and a backpack. Now I have so much more. Both material and mental. Even though my Japanese has suffered a lot due to my lack of practicing this second quarter, God has answered so many prayers. I feel like I understand people a bit more. (At first I could not at all!!) But We are always changing, in many ways shapes and forms, so to love someone is to get to know them and see through the cultural norms. see though the outward influences. See the driving force of the actions, to care about the person and take the time to understand. Patience is more than a virtue, with patience one begins to understand.<3
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Finishing up of the CRAZY WEEK/end the 4th week in June 2013
Wed.
Field trip to north Kyushu ( Kitakyushu) ... (Oita area still) .. and We went to car factories :D! So this was a field trip that my professor conducted, and at 1st I really was not planning on going because I was so so so busy this week, it stressed me out just to think of it.. but .. due to the taihen-ness of not going and Yi having to find a replacement, I ended up going. It was good a lot of my other classmates went and other friends. WE had fun! I was just so tired, my brain was not allowing me to understand and think. (it felt like everything that went in my ear or that happened was bouncing off my brain and leaving) ... so frustrating :/ but.. It was good and I got to take a lot of pictures :D! Also... I got to discuss our presentation briefly with the professor.
PICTURES TO COME!
Thur.
Presentation day!!
SO... the presentation was waayyy to long.. and I didn't really sleep but 3 hours? (if I am not mistaken) and I finished one of my homeworks to save it.. exit it.. and try to bring it up but it DISAPEARED :(((( ... = no homework for me... because then it was time to go to class..
PRaise the LORD ( seriousllyy) my teacher gave me grace to turn it in late, and asked if I was ok due to my constant tiredness he was worried. <3!Wow ! Really kind teacher ( Dr. D. ) -->same one I went on the field trip with.
The rest of the day... classes...
We got our group assignments today in organizational behavior ( my kinda class :) with my fav. Filippino Prof. Alcantara!!! )
Seriously praise the LORD today.
I was in the library trying to retype my lost assignment and ... then my former group member that had dropped the class came and sat next to me in the library so we started talking and I asked if he was going to use the book anymore ( expecting to buy it from him) .. but he just said here , just give it back when you are done. :O!! Praise the LORD!! the book is about 6,000 yen!! (= about 60 dollars) :O! See... WOW!!
Next, I was off to see Pat perform for Philippines week :D! It was really cool to see him play! He even sung in Spanish ( it made me a bit confused.. because .. I think I was the only one in the room that spoke Spanish... but.. anyywayyss I guess it is close to Tagalog so ... ) Whaaa!!! He worked so hard practicing for the week. But time went by fast, and soon it was time for me to go to our Floor meeting ( the ones that are once a month and you can not skip... :/ )
After the meeting, YAKINIKU PARTY ( the 1st time I have had it here!!! .. it is very popular!!) yokkatta ne! ( nice huh :) ))
Yakiniku - grill with meet, sauce, and vegetables..
Actually..
now that I think of it...
I had it before...
at the B-ball circle welcome party... :P .. actually .. I never really stuck with the Dolphins :/ ( the girls b-ball team ).. wha..
Any ways... the floor party was fun! A lot of people joined this time, some times everyone is too busy, but today.. a lot of people joined :)!!
We also talked about world festival... there was some tension when some brought up the idea of buying bandanas for the uniform... but.... I didn't like it and it was so last minute that we had a bit of a clash.. (culture difference.. ) Thennnnn...... :) /... We worked on decorating our floor with smileys for WF (world festival ) ...
Actually.. I kinda kept coming back and forth because I was also trying to finish my hw assignments that I had lost... ( BRAIN DEAADDDD) ... But good thing.. I got to talk to my parents <3!! and KENDRAA!! <3!
Fri.
Finished my assignment :) turned it in, but I was late to class.
The teacher picked on me again ( the same one that seems to like westerners .. particularly Americans... [I don't get it, why why?] )
:P!
I think it is ok though.. GAMBARIMASU!! ( I will do my best / working hard!)
He is chill though... even though I was late.. he let me have an attendance sheet.
Tonight TONIGHT!!!!
So today I cooked Pollo latino style:D!!! And then ate with Pat before going to practice. (well.. came in late and missed it ... but that's not the point .. :P)
Um.. soo.. practiced with Cherry until we had to come back and perform at 6
Natsuki messeged me to watch the show together but I am such a bad friend because I was so worried about the timing that I forgot to tell here that I would be sitting with others that were in the FLASH MOB DANCE TOO.. but she seemed to be understanding (I think a bit disappointed.. :( ) whaaa... :(((
Also.. I was so distracted .. we didn't really get to hang out. She was with Michikochyan. I have not seen her in SO long either ( she had to move down town because people can only stay in AP house 2 semesters ( because they need room for new people) .. ) :(
So we all watched the show together ( it was so good)!. And it was fun to be background dancer for the credits :P( http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/34321633)
After the show, a small after party of food, people taking crazy pictures :D, and Pat playing the guitar with accompaniments of singers:). So tired. But we had Filippino food :) and then went back. Plus!!! I got a CD of some of the music! so nice!!
Now...
JUMBI O HAJIMEMASU!!!
(PREPARATION BEGINS)
for... WF!!(World Festival)
We have aloot of work to do!
No sleep tonight ( seriously, but everyone is working hard)
Sat.
6am, begin cooking
I am so thankful that everyone is helping <3!!! SO PROUD OF my R5 GIRLS!( well not mine but... you know what I mean)
we are making NACHOs!!!!!!!
From scratch = even making the tortilla chips ( there are no such things here that you can buy unless it is imported and really expensive.. sooo.. we all became PRO's at fast tortilla makinggggg:D!!!! )
It was so Awesome!!!!
Especially since I usually control things right.. but this time I didn't feel the need to. But funny thing is.. they did a much better job than I would have. They did it faster, better looking ( appearance / presentation means a lot in JAPAN .. ALOT!) .. (you know me.. I am not very strong in appearances, but I just focus on taste quality, but here... you need... both :P!! )
Mean while we made cupcakes too! (Cremebrule cupcakes ( my version anyways... because whipping cream was too expensive.. thus... SUBSTITUTE :D) Praise the LORD we got everything done!
But serving was hectic!!! SOO HECTIC!! people kept coming because they heard our food was good, but that meant.. we had to move fast. Another thing.. some how we ran out of plates before we served 230 people ( the min. req. ) and .. so .. we had to figure out other things..
Thankfully Eira (one of my RA's (resident assistants) ) got us some ( but it still wasn't enough) .. then Cherry gave us hers! so kind ( then it was JUST ENOUGH :) !!
SERIOUSLY..
It is so cool that they have us do WF because it is LIFE EXPERIENCE OF MANAGEMENT!!! of people, resources, times, and CRISIS MOMENTS!!!
We kept running out of things ( because I didn't know how to proportion so that it would go the farthest :/ ) but then... PRAISE THE LORD it worked out. WE had to make more salsa from scratch and also season onions (since we ran out of corn).. so many things...
I really think this would be a resume builder XP! WF requires so much! Prior, during and especially during! SO tired!!! But now.. I can say.. haha I have cooked for over 100 people ( :P even though I did not do it my self. WOW !! I am so thankful for all the girls that helped SERIOUSLYY!! it was so stressful and so much work, but everyone put their effort. Some girls in particularly, so much cutting and stirring and standing and everything!! <3!!
WE MADE ITT!!!! NACHOS R5 2013!!
It was really cool to see how we bonded too! :D!
I got a bit sad too at the end because some did not show and I commented which I think hurt :( .. I should have held my tongue. :( even though I did not say harsh things, sometimes the softly spoken things hurt more, since they are not forced but subtle :( like poison :(((
Whaa... Me and my tongue.! But ... later things were ok.. I think ?? I still wonder, but LORD willing it is. I wanted to apologize to my friend but when I knocked they were not there... so.. sadly .. they apologized before I did.. (my stubbornness) but I am really thankful because it helped break it so it did not turn into something bigger.
Had arm wrestling ( kind of.. didn't get to go.. but I am so thankful since the other girl was from the US too and she works out a lot more than I do... so nostalgic, I remember when I used to bench all the time ( BENJI <3!!! LOVEU !! xP way back in the days before that time when guys grow strong really fast and when testostoron is pumped just by breathing ) .. no wonder they get so strong so fast! .. but yeaaa anyways
Then .. Shower!! Then.. FOOD!!
then performances!
Then I saw a lady from church she was so kind! She told me to come back, and when I did, we talked abit and she sent me off with food. (Toppoki! ) .. it was a bit uncomfortable because she was selling it but she gave it to me and I didn't have anything to pay her with :( ... She is always so kind. <3
I wanted to go to church for prayer tonight, but I missed the bus and ended up not going... :/ But maybe it is ok because I have to wake up early in the morning and go to KAMEGAWA. (kid's exchange) + I have not slept... whaaaa
Sun.
Pat woke me up at 6 . THANKFULLYY!! .. I can not believe how little it felt like I slept... SO TIRED!!! :/
Also I am so thankful that he organized most of the event today ( my brain is still fried 86%.) it takes me a long time to think about even doing simple things. But it was ok! Thankfully!!
After Kamegawa, (fun! we did theme of COLORS!!)
we all split up and I walked with Maprang (Thailand) and Kelly (US) to Kamegawa station. Then I had an hour to kill so I went to the beach and read!! SO NICE!! Today was such a blessing! Even though many people did not come to church today, it felt relaxed. but be praying pleasssseee, a lot of battles.
I stayed all the way for prayer night, and got to hang out with the Kind lady, and the Kim family :)!
We went to ORANGE Com later! And I got to hang out with the kids <3! So funnyyyy!!
I also got some studying done ( not much... ) but also practiced guitar!
Wow a wonderful day, tired .. so very very tired, but many memories.
It really is beginning to hit me... About 1 month left in Japan ...
1 month
1 month
what to do :'( .. I love home but, I really will miss it here, I don't know how I will handle because my attitude an way of acting has changed so much. my view has changed so much.
Oh by the way I have yet another theory why Japanese tend to not gain weight as much as westerners..
so when we eat, everyone has the same portion of food. And people eat together. So... when we eat together and have the same portion of food, usually there is just enough food to go around ( they don't usually have left overs since freshness is extreeemmmllyyyy important here) .. no left overs = no excess food. no excess food = no need to STUFF your self to finish it, or eat when you get board.
They do eat snacks and icecream here a lot :P! but.. other than that.. un! That is yet another theory of mine :D!
Field trip to north Kyushu ( Kitakyushu) ... (Oita area still) .. and We went to car factories :D! So this was a field trip that my professor conducted, and at 1st I really was not planning on going because I was so so so busy this week, it stressed me out just to think of it.. but .. due to the taihen-ness of not going and Yi having to find a replacement, I ended up going. It was good a lot of my other classmates went and other friends. WE had fun! I was just so tired, my brain was not allowing me to understand and think. (it felt like everything that went in my ear or that happened was bouncing off my brain and leaving) ... so frustrating :/ but.. It was good and I got to take a lot of pictures :D! Also... I got to discuss our presentation briefly with the professor.
PICTURES TO COME!
Thur.
Presentation day!!
SO... the presentation was waayyy to long.. and I didn't really sleep but 3 hours? (if I am not mistaken) and I finished one of my homeworks to save it.. exit it.. and try to bring it up but it DISAPEARED :(((( ... = no homework for me... because then it was time to go to class..
PRaise the LORD ( seriousllyy) my teacher gave me grace to turn it in late, and asked if I was ok due to my constant tiredness he was worried. <3!Wow ! Really kind teacher ( Dr. D. ) -->same one I went on the field trip with.
The rest of the day... classes...
We got our group assignments today in organizational behavior ( my kinda class :) with my fav. Filippino Prof. Alcantara!!! )
Seriously praise the LORD today.
I was in the library trying to retype my lost assignment and ... then my former group member that had dropped the class came and sat next to me in the library so we started talking and I asked if he was going to use the book anymore ( expecting to buy it from him) .. but he just said here , just give it back when you are done. :O!! Praise the LORD!! the book is about 6,000 yen!! (= about 60 dollars) :O! See... WOW!!
Next, I was off to see Pat perform for Philippines week :D! It was really cool to see him play! He even sung in Spanish ( it made me a bit confused.. because .. I think I was the only one in the room that spoke Spanish... but.. anyywayyss I guess it is close to Tagalog so ... ) Whaaa!!! He worked so hard practicing for the week. But time went by fast, and soon it was time for me to go to our Floor meeting ( the ones that are once a month and you can not skip... :/ )
After the meeting, YAKINIKU PARTY ( the 1st time I have had it here!!! .. it is very popular!!) yokkatta ne! ( nice huh :) ))
Yakiniku - grill with meet, sauce, and vegetables..
Actually..
now that I think of it...
I had it before...
at the B-ball circle welcome party... :P .. actually .. I never really stuck with the Dolphins :/ ( the girls b-ball team ).. wha..
Any ways... the floor party was fun! A lot of people joined this time, some times everyone is too busy, but today.. a lot of people joined :)!!
We also talked about world festival... there was some tension when some brought up the idea of buying bandanas for the uniform... but.... I didn't like it and it was so last minute that we had a bit of a clash.. (culture difference.. ) Thennnnn...... :) /... We worked on decorating our floor with smileys for WF (world festival ) ...
Actually.. I kinda kept coming back and forth because I was also trying to finish my hw assignments that I had lost... ( BRAIN DEAADDDD) ... But good thing.. I got to talk to my parents <3!! and KENDRAA!! <3!
Fri.
Finished my assignment :) turned it in, but I was late to class.
The teacher picked on me again ( the same one that seems to like westerners .. particularly Americans... [I don't get it, why why?] )
:P!
I think it is ok though.. GAMBARIMASU!! ( I will do my best / working hard!)
He is chill though... even though I was late.. he let me have an attendance sheet.
Tonight TONIGHT!!!!
So today I cooked Pollo latino style:D!!! And then ate with Pat before going to practice. (well.. came in late and missed it ... but that's not the point .. :P)
Um.. soo.. practiced with Cherry until we had to come back and perform at 6
Natsuki messeged me to watch the show together but I am such a bad friend because I was so worried about the timing that I forgot to tell here that I would be sitting with others that were in the FLASH MOB DANCE TOO.. but she seemed to be understanding (I think a bit disappointed.. :( ) whaaa... :(((
Also.. I was so distracted .. we didn't really get to hang out. She was with Michikochyan. I have not seen her in SO long either ( she had to move down town because people can only stay in AP house 2 semesters ( because they need room for new people) .. ) :(
So we all watched the show together ( it was so good)!. And it was fun to be background dancer for the credits :P( http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/34321633)
After the show, a small after party of food, people taking crazy pictures :D, and Pat playing the guitar with accompaniments of singers:). So tired. But we had Filippino food :) and then went back. Plus!!! I got a CD of some of the music! so nice!!
Now...
JUMBI O HAJIMEMASU!!!
(PREPARATION BEGINS)
for... WF!!(World Festival)
We have aloot of work to do!
No sleep tonight ( seriously, but everyone is working hard)
Sat.
6am, begin cooking
I am so thankful that everyone is helping <3!!! SO PROUD OF my R5 GIRLS!( well not mine but... you know what I mean)
we are making NACHOs!!!!!!!
From scratch = even making the tortilla chips ( there are no such things here that you can buy unless it is imported and really expensive.. sooo.. we all became PRO's at fast tortilla makinggggg:D!!!! )
It was so Awesome!!!!
Especially since I usually control things right.. but this time I didn't feel the need to. But funny thing is.. they did a much better job than I would have. They did it faster, better looking ( appearance / presentation means a lot in JAPAN .. ALOT!) .. (you know me.. I am not very strong in appearances, but I just focus on taste quality, but here... you need... both :P!! )
Mean while we made cupcakes too! (Cremebrule cupcakes ( my version anyways... because whipping cream was too expensive.. thus... SUBSTITUTE :D) Praise the LORD we got everything done!
But serving was hectic!!! SOO HECTIC!! people kept coming because they heard our food was good, but that meant.. we had to move fast. Another thing.. some how we ran out of plates before we served 230 people ( the min. req. ) and .. so .. we had to figure out other things..
Thankfully Eira (one of my RA's (resident assistants) ) got us some ( but it still wasn't enough) .. then Cherry gave us hers! so kind ( then it was JUST ENOUGH :) !!
SERIOUSLY..
It is so cool that they have us do WF because it is LIFE EXPERIENCE OF MANAGEMENT!!! of people, resources, times, and CRISIS MOMENTS!!!
We kept running out of things ( because I didn't know how to proportion so that it would go the farthest :/ ) but then... PRAISE THE LORD it worked out. WE had to make more salsa from scratch and also season onions (since we ran out of corn).. so many things...
I really think this would be a resume builder XP! WF requires so much! Prior, during and especially during! SO tired!!! But now.. I can say.. haha I have cooked for over 100 people ( :P even though I did not do it my self. WOW !! I am so thankful for all the girls that helped SERIOUSLYY!! it was so stressful and so much work, but everyone put their effort. Some girls in particularly, so much cutting and stirring and standing and everything!! <3!!
WE MADE ITT!!!! NACHOS R5 2013!!
It was really cool to see how we bonded too! :D!
I got a bit sad too at the end because some did not show and I commented which I think hurt :( .. I should have held my tongue. :( even though I did not say harsh things, sometimes the softly spoken things hurt more, since they are not forced but subtle :( like poison :(((
Whaa... Me and my tongue.! But ... later things were ok.. I think ?? I still wonder, but LORD willing it is. I wanted to apologize to my friend but when I knocked they were not there... so.. sadly .. they apologized before I did.. (my stubbornness) but I am really thankful because it helped break it so it did not turn into something bigger.
Had arm wrestling ( kind of.. didn't get to go.. but I am so thankful since the other girl was from the US too and she works out a lot more than I do... so nostalgic, I remember when I used to bench all the time ( BENJI <3!!! LOVEU !! xP way back in the days before that time when guys grow strong really fast and when testostoron is pumped just by breathing ) .. no wonder they get so strong so fast! .. but yeaaa anyways
Then .. Shower!! Then.. FOOD!!
then performances!
Then I saw a lady from church she was so kind! She told me to come back, and when I did, we talked abit and she sent me off with food. (Toppoki! ) .. it was a bit uncomfortable because she was selling it but she gave it to me and I didn't have anything to pay her with :( ... She is always so kind. <3
I wanted to go to church for prayer tonight, but I missed the bus and ended up not going... :/ But maybe it is ok because I have to wake up early in the morning and go to KAMEGAWA. (kid's exchange) + I have not slept... whaaaa
Sun.
Pat woke me up at 6 . THANKFULLYY!! .. I can not believe how little it felt like I slept... SO TIRED!!! :/
Also I am so thankful that he organized most of the event today ( my brain is still fried 86%.) it takes me a long time to think about even doing simple things. But it was ok! Thankfully!!
After Kamegawa, (fun! we did theme of COLORS!!)
we all split up and I walked with Maprang (Thailand) and Kelly (US) to Kamegawa station. Then I had an hour to kill so I went to the beach and read!! SO NICE!! Today was such a blessing! Even though many people did not come to church today, it felt relaxed. but be praying pleasssseee, a lot of battles.
I stayed all the way for prayer night, and got to hang out with the Kind lady, and the Kim family :)!
We went to ORANGE Com later! And I got to hang out with the kids <3! So funnyyyy!!
I also got some studying done ( not much... ) but also practiced guitar!
Wow a wonderful day, tired .. so very very tired, but many memories.
It really is beginning to hit me... About 1 month left in Japan ...
1 month
1 month
what to do :'( .. I love home but, I really will miss it here, I don't know how I will handle because my attitude an way of acting has changed so much. my view has changed so much.
Oh by the way I have yet another theory why Japanese tend to not gain weight as much as westerners..
so when we eat, everyone has the same portion of food. And people eat together. So... when we eat together and have the same portion of food, usually there is just enough food to go around ( they don't usually have left overs since freshness is extreeemmmllyyyy important here) .. no left overs = no excess food. no excess food = no need to STUFF your self to finish it, or eat when you get board.
They do eat snacks and icecream here a lot :P! but.. other than that.. un! That is yet another theory of mine :D!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
June 9-15th, 2013: QUICK TIME
This week has been so crazy, one of my most busy weeks and most stressful. It feels like I won't make it, but it is almost over now. So many classes, responsibilities (meetings) but some how, Praise the Lord, with grace I am ok. I have been a bit irritable and also lacking sleep, but I am OK :) . Whaaa also, I keep being reminded that I will be leaving here soon, it makes it more stressful, I feel like there is so much more to complete. But Praise the LORD for restoration in the Church here, keep praying that we will continue to serve the Lord and not ourselves. (it can easily become into self worship because it is a blinding by pride or even passionate excitement). Trying to keep on track. But I know, God's the one keeping me, seriously. My emotions have been in 500 places this week, I think particularly due to lack of sleep, etc. It's actually really cool and funny, when I don't get the word in the morning or a substantial amount during the day, I end up literally physically hungrier and mentally hungrier. I end up getting sad easier, or stressed, or even other things when I forget to spend time with God. He truly is amazing you know! :) YOU KNOWW:)!! (Samunim ( the pastor's wife)) is so famous for saying this "you know" :P she says it so cool because she has an Australian accent :D!
I am so thankful for the church here, so thankful on how hearts are growing <3! I can't even think to part. :( . But there is a time for everything. Right now, I know the time is not for me to be looking at the future, nor holding to the past, but fight day by day to keep running. Running for Jesus. If only my heart could remember this sometimessssssss!!! *cough cough!*
It is also funny on how when a plant begins to grow, how fast weeds use the nutrients that the plants are gathering, but instead the weeds use those up to multiply. :(. FRUSTRATIINNGG!!
But GOD is good! SOOO GOOD!!
PICTURE TO COME!! :) I have been taking a lot recently... oh yea and this week is ...
PHILIPPINES WEEK!!!!
The grand show is tomorrow :)!( technically today) Excited!! Then on Saturday it is WORLD FESTIVAL!! :) We are cooking....
wait for it....
.......................
NACHOS!!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!
and
a surprise for every n^th customer, will be Crème Brule cupcakes :D!
Now... back to work! (ESSAAAYYYSSSSSSSSS)
One of my favorite Korean songs <3 !! I love the words ( I do not know all of them yet, but when they translated it for us in English at church (SOO KINDDDD <3) it felt like it burns through my heart when I hear and sing it <3!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJzbUslZPGY&noredirect=1
Oh yea... secret... ??
I want to learn 3 languages...
Japanese
Korean
Chinese
I actually want to learn a lot more than that, but maybe ... this will be the harder ones for me so .... I don't know how.. but .. GAMBARIMASUUUUU!!
Jyaaaa... matta ne ( till next time) :P
I am so thankful for the church here, so thankful on how hearts are growing <3! I can't even think to part. :( . But there is a time for everything. Right now, I know the time is not for me to be looking at the future, nor holding to the past, but fight day by day to keep running. Running for Jesus. If only my heart could remember this sometimessssssss!!! *cough cough!*
It is also funny on how when a plant begins to grow, how fast weeds use the nutrients that the plants are gathering, but instead the weeds use those up to multiply. :(. FRUSTRATIINNGG!!
But GOD is good! SOOO GOOD!!
PICTURE TO COME!! :) I have been taking a lot recently... oh yea and this week is ...
PHILIPPINES WEEK!!!!
The grand show is tomorrow :)!( technically today) Excited!! Then on Saturday it is WORLD FESTIVAL!! :) We are cooking....
wait for it....
.......................
NACHOS!!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!
and
a surprise for every n^th customer, will be Crème Brule cupcakes :D!
Now... back to work! (ESSAAAYYYSSSSSSSSS)
One of my favorite Korean songs <3 !! I love the words ( I do not know all of them yet, but when they translated it for us in English at church (SOO KINDDDD <3) it felt like it burns through my heart when I hear and sing it <3!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJzbUslZPGY&noredirect=1
Oh yea... secret... ??
I want to learn 3 languages...
Japanese
Korean
Chinese
I actually want to learn a lot more than that, but maybe ... this will be the harder ones for me so .... I don't know how.. but .. GAMBARIMASUUUUU!!
Jyaaaa... matta ne ( till next time) :P
Thursday, June 6, 2013
OK.... Back?
OK so I give up on trying to go back and remake all the past blogs... so lets just keep moving forward :) Sorry for not updating in a whileeeee:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((! But ok !!!
SOoooooooOOOO...
We are now in Quarter 2 of our Spring semester at APU!! :) But.. that means... then ... I will leave soon. I love home but, I also really like it here in Japan Doooshiiioo ( what to do) . But I know that the time that I am here for is for a reason. Sometimes we want to stay in the places that we like or that we are used to but the thing is that, that is when we become stale. Just like water. Even though I am sure it might prefer to not have to deal with changing properties, becoming evaporated, precipitated, separated from its pool of water where it grew up ( if water had feelings and was a live that is... XP) . But... the thing it is good. Just like in Genesis God talks about how he
"created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
SOoooooooOOOO...
We are now in Quarter 2 of our Spring semester at APU!! :) But.. that means... then ... I will leave soon. I love home but, I also really like it here in Japan Doooshiiioo ( what to do) . But I know that the time that I am here for is for a reason. Sometimes we want to stay in the places that we like or that we are used to but the thing is that, that is when we become stale. Just like water. Even though I am sure it might prefer to not have to deal with changing properties, becoming evaporated, precipitated, separated from its pool of water where it grew up ( if water had feelings and was a live that is... XP) . But... the thing it is good. Just like in Genesis God talks about how he
"created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.” "
If the first people had jobs and tasks to do on earth and were told to fill the earth and increase in number, (even before sin was present) , why wouldn't we still have jobs to do too?
SO recently that has been what has been coming up, purpose. Why APU. But I guess I don't need to keep asking why, but know that there is. I know that there is. There are so mannyyyy things that God has been doing in my life. SO many things that he continues to use to grow my heart and spirit. <3
Quarter break was one of these things. Actually it is a long story ( especially for my talkativeness :P) . The decision whether to go to Prayer Camp or a Mission trip was one of the decisions I struggled with the most since coming to Japan.
I wanted to go on the mission trip, but I had already signed up for the day in prayer; I wanted to be with my friends, but I felt like I needed to go on the mission trip. SO many things. It is my last break here in Japan. Only one time. So it was so much pressure. I feel like so many times I have to sacrifice myself. My brain tells me one thing but the rest of me says another, it is hard to choose which to believe. With this trip my commitment and brain logically made me feel so torn between the two.
Anyways... So After so much praying praying praying!! I still was unsure. But ... the Friday of spring break, I was at Auntie's ( FFF pastor's wife) and we usually go there to hang out and eat dinner together before having youth group, but this time, I was still struggling. Funny thing is, before when I was thinking about this, I had asked God that if this is from him that he would put it on Auntie's heart to be understanding. Funny thing, auntie and uncle brought it up before even I did. Not only that, but they both told me to go. Despite this answer to prayer, I was still stubborn and was thinking and praying and getting really frustrated over the decision.
It wasn't until they began worshiping that I began to feel a peace. I felt a peace and I knew the decision. Just to make sure I later went outside and kept worshiping God, and no matter how hard I tried to change my decision in my mind, there was only one answer. Mission trip. <3!! wow how merciful and patient is God especially to someone as stubborn and thick minded as me!!! :P!!
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